textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
not ubering you a puppy
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
