And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
