yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
