Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
