I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
