I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
