...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
