Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I think I have vodka in my lungs
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
