He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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