North Korea, Best Korea!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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