:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So squirting runs in the family.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
