Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
