i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
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