Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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