i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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