I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
