remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
