Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
