office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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