Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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