So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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