You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
