im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
