We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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