i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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