Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
