Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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