Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
