these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
