So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
two words...techno handjob
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
