If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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