STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
