Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
