I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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