OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
