Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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