ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
