After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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