my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
