Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
