we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
