you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
