Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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