pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
