Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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