Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
