i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I can't turn off my feet"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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