They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
