How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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