Im at strip club and am horny
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
